I no longer want to be numb. So many nights in my past, I’ve come home from work and grabbed a drink to let reality fade just a little.
I didn’t have a problem with alcohol, I had a problem with life. It wasn’t good enough. It didn’t satisfy that longing in my soul.
Every weekend was another chance to get lost in a buzz or a high in order to let the stress of life slide off and enter into an alternate, more fulfilling reality.
But what if I told you that there’s a reality – a real, physical life – that you wouldn’t want to escape from? What if I told you that I often turn down a drink in order to be more alert, more sober minded, more present in my actual life?
God has radically changed me. His presence creates a reality that is better than any drug. His love fills me more than anything else ever could. And His grace gives me the energy to move forward.
I no longer want to be numb. I no longer need to escape. That doesn’t mean I never fantisize about running away. Life still gets hard – more often then not – but Christ creates something inside me that makes life worth living. Yes, even the crappy parts.
I want to get up earlier and stay up later just to be a part of whatever God is doing that day. Free time is no longer “me time”, but rather “me and God” time. And I want it that way.
My heart aches deeply for God’s presence. My eyes yearn for His glorious light. My mind hungers for more of His wisdom.
No other craving hits like a craving for God. And it’s a craving that is although satisfying, never satisfied.
More and more and more – that’s the song on my lips. More glory, more love, more peace, more grace, more mercy – more of Him.
This is absolutely not a brag on myself. This is a brag on God and how wonderful He makes our lives. Even through the yuck, He shines a little light somewhere. Darkness can never overcome it fully.
This is possible for you too. I’m not special. We are all loved children of the King. And that King longs for relationship with each of us.
He can and will create an unquenchable, uncontainable, overwhelming fire for Himself in your soul if you let Him. He not pushy, He’s patient.
I encourage you to ask Him to open your eyes to His presence – in fact, I dare you – because the more you see the more you’ll want to see. The more you taste, the more you’ll want to taste.
The more of Him you experience the less you want to be numb to life because being numb would actually be worse than feeling it. Escaping would actually be worse then experiencing.
I should probably warn you though, if you decide to take me up on my dare, your life will be forever changed. There’s no going back. And that, my friend, is a very good thing.